INTEGER STORY
Once there was an integer that was so tough that he could solve any question in single thought. One day he was eating a zero pair sandwich when all the sudden the mayor of
Ultra-vile came and said to super integer “ You will go and find the lost temple of the cantaloupes !” so then SI (which stands for Super integer) said “why is this?” then the mayor said “Because we need our greatest integer to go to the temple and answer the 4 questions” “ I will go !!” said SI. SI was eating a +2 cookie when all the sudden a little old man jumped out from the bush. “What is (+2)+(+3)”??? said the old man. Ummmmm….(+5) said SI. Hmmmm…..very good we have been expecting you. SI was completely confused. He had no idea why there were old people asking him integer questions. He continued on his way. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon when al the sudden an old woman jumps out of the bush. “What is (+5)+(+12)???” she said. SI was confused he was looking at the old woman when he said “Ummmm……….(+17)??”
VERY good. “My husband was right you are a smart one” she said as she jumped back into the bush. SI who was now starting to wonder if old people coming out of bushes is a regular thing kept on walking towards the temple. It was about 4:32 and he could see the temples tallest tower he was walked up the stairs he heard and echoing voice say “ What is “(+23)+(+43)??” SI was really starting to worry he said “Ummm………. (+66)??” then the voice said “good job & good luck” SI was walking up the stairs and then all the sudden a stone tablet dropped in front of him. A voice boomed “ SHOW YOUR WORK!!” so then he said “ For what ??” the voice boomed again “FOR THIS QUESTION” “What is (+2)-(-5)” As SI was thinking of the question he noticed that the walls had spikes and they were moving in on him. First he wrote out the question then he changed it to look like this (+2)+(+5) so then the walls were closing in on him he just finshed question just as the spike was hitting his face it stopped right at his nose. He then heard the voice “ YOU MAY KNOW STEP INTO THE LIGHT”. SI stepped into the light and then all the sudden POOF he turned into a potato.
why is he a potato.
October 31, 2008 at 1:35 PM
I think your story is very... interesting, especially your potato part. good luck on the next part of the story.
October 31, 2008 at 2:15 PM
Well, this is going to take awhile, but here it goes.
Once there was an integer that was so tough that he could solve any question in single thought.
Try not to repeat "that", and add a "a" after in.
Eg: Once there was an integer that was so tough, he could solve any question in a single thought.
The part where it says "When all of a sudden the mayor" should be fixed. A new paragraph is not needed!
SI was eating a +2 cookie when all the sudden
This should be "When all of a sudden"
At many parts in the story, people are talking. All these parts SHOULD be indented.
Also, at other parts in the story, there are no quotation marks!
It was about 2:30 in the afternoon when al the sudden
Quick Fix: All OF a sudden.
SI was confused he was looking at the old woman when he said “Ummmm……….(+17)??”
In this part, there should be a period after "confused"
Eg. SI was confused. He was looking at the old woman when he said "Ummmm..... (+17)??"
he could see the temples tallest tower he was walked up the stairs he heard and echoing voice say
Quick Fix: he could see the temple's tallest tower. He was walking up the stairs when he heard an echoing voice say
KNOW
Should be NOW. :)
Well, hope I helped.
P.S. A potato? Uhh..nice choice, Brenden. o.o
November 4, 2008 at 7:00 PM